Red, Black, Red

So let me come to you / close as I wanna be

Close enough for me / to feel your heart beating fast

And stay there as I whisper / how I loved your peaceful eyes on me

Did you ever know / that I had mine on you?

—Eyes on Me, FF8

For few hours, I was waiting in anticipation. I pretended to look at the passing clouds, but I couldn’t help but think about her—the voices inside my head couldn’t stop talking. The anxiety felt tingly; there were butterflies in my belly.

“Oh, is that her?” Yep. Red hair tie, black t-shirt, red shorts—nothing fancy. She walked towards my direction and sat beside me. I said hello and continued watching the clouds.

“You here only for a while?” I broke the silence.

“Yeah, kinda. What about you?”

“The clouds are beautiful today,” I stupidly replied.

Her eyes were soft—like the eyes of a loving mother—but looking at it made me fearful. So, instead of peering into her eyes, I mostly glanced at her leaf-shaped earring. Many things I wanted to say to her—many longings, many bottled-up feelings—but my tongue was tightly locked. She stared at the ground most of the time. Perhaps she felt the same way. After a very, very long silence, she said, “Hey, I, uh… gotta go.” I looked at her, knowing that it was my last chance to do so. She was pretty, as always. “Sure,” I replied. As she walked away, she gave me her last goodbye with a smile and a wave. All I could do was smile back. Bitterly.

August 21, 2021